Adams Family Reunion

Last weekend was the Adams Family Reunion out on Grandma and Grandpa's farm, with over 150 of us there to unite as the posterity of Dale and Asenath Adams. In many ways, I did not fully appreciate the joy of the reunion until the end came and we left one by one to return to our homes and everyday lives. Like so many things in life, and as the old saying goes, "you don't know what you've got till it's gone." I had fun the entire weekend and was enjoying myself, but my nature is so introverted that in such a large group, even when they were all family, I found myself staying close to those I knew best rather than actually reconnecting with all of my cousins that I hadn't seen for so long. But as I headed back home and my news feed filled up with everyone's pictures from the weekend, I felt the impressiveness of that group of people I'm privileged to call family, and the momentous occasion of having so many of us together at once. And I was so grateful to have been able to be one of the ones there with my husband at my side.

Though the magnitude of that event partially escaped me while there, there were a couple of moments during that time that did not.

It was an extremely hot weekend, and there had been very little rain in the days and weeks preceding it. Some rain was in the forecast, and Grandma told us all that if it wasn't raining, that was evidence of our lack of combined faith, because we needed that rain! And finally the rain did come. As we all sat under the tent, visiting and enjoying the cooler temperatures it brought, Grandma stopped as she walked past me to whisper, "Some prayers take longer to be answered than others," and then she continued on. It was all I could do to keep myself from crying.

Gabe and I are fast approaching six years of marriage, six years of hoping and waiting for children to come. Lately, I have become quite comfortable with our life together, just the way it is. Life as a family of two has lasted so long that it now seems strange to think of it otherwise. The hope and desire for children is still there, but with it there is an appreciation for the unique privileges and opportunities we have available to us now. With that newfound appreciation, I thought that the deep longing had mostly subsided. But in an instant it flooded back to the forefront, as Grandma reminded me in such a simple and unexpected way that others are aware of our struggle and hoping and praying with us. Others who love and care for us deeply. Her words struck me, as they told me that she was one of those hoping and praying for me, too. That was a moment that did not pass me by.

The other came Saturday, after the sun had gone down and almost everyone had left for the night. Mindy's husband David was still roasting a pig, and two of his girls had stayed with him. Gabe had been visiting with him, enjoying their conversations about his Tongan heritage, the gospel, and Polynesia. But it was getting late, so we decided to call it a night. With my phone as a flashlight, they put out the fire, and David and his oldest daughter rested the stick with the pig on their shoulders to carry it back to Grandma's house where they were staying. As we separated and walked to our car, David and his two girls were left to walk in the dark. I heard one of them say, "Daddy, I can't see!" And then his simple response, "Then just follow me."

It was such a quiet moment, and yet it's application to life was emphatically impressed upon me at once. How often in life are we the little child, crying out in prayer, "Daddy, I can't see!" And what is His response that He has so lovingly given us, time and time again? "Then just follow me." I thought of the words to the hymn "Lead Kindly Light."

Lead, kindly Light, amid the'encircling gloom;

Lead thou me on!

The night is dark, and I am far from home;

Lead thou me on!

Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see

The distant scene--one step enough for me.

So long as the one step we can see is the step which leads us in His footsteps, we will be okay. No matter how dark the night may be, if we can see Him, or even just His path, we have all the light we need. We just have to keep our focus on Him, and push aside all the daunting and frightening "what if's" that lurk around us in the dark. Ignore the noises, the silhouettes, and the uncertainties - imagined or real - and trust that His is a path of safety, the path back home. That is what David, in his few words, asked of his daughter, and that is what the Savior asks of us.

As small and simple as these little moments were, they fittingly occurred at a time and place meant to celebrate the joy of our family. A family with a matriarch and patriarch at its head who have set a pattern of love and gospel teaching at each gathering and reunion. And at this reunion, I witnessed those patterns not only in the planned and formal moments, but in the private and unexpected as well.

Happy Father's Day

As is typically expected, I called my dad for Father's Day yesterday. It was such a nice visit. Usually when I call home, I only talk to Mom, because Dad is at work. I get to see him every time we visit home, but there's often other people and things going on that also take our attention. So it was nice to take the opportunity to visit one on one again, and share with each other our lives and our testimonies. As I got off the phone, I was reminded of my visit with him back in April, when we went home for the weekend.

After planning to come up, we found out that Mom would be in Arizona for her uncle's funeral. Like we typically do, we left Friday and headed to Ava to spend the afternoon with Gabe's parents, then drove out to Ash Grove to spend the evening with James and Kelli, and then to Mom and Dad's to stay the night. I called Dad and told him we'd be in late and we'd just plan on visiting with him the next morning.

When we drove up to the house (I think it was around midnight), we could see that all the lights upstairs were still on. I thought it was funny that he had left so many lights on for us. Then as we walked in the front door, I could hear something in the kitchen. Dad was still up doing dishes, haha. So we came in and I sat down and started visiting with him. This was just two days before I was set apart as primary president, so I spent a lot of time sharing my experience with finding counselors. We continued talking, and eventually Gabe got tired and headed to bed. Dad and I ended up sitting in the kitchen talking with each other, just the two of us, for probably two hours.

It reminded me so much of being a teenager and young adult at home, and the countless talks we had late at night after I would come home from being out with friends. Sitting at home again, talking late at night with just the two of us, I felt like I was still just Daddy's little girl. And I treasured that feeling. I didn't care that I would probably be tired the next morning from staying up so late. Talking about life, about the gospel, and the lessons I was learning, and feeling such love, such a deep connection with my dad was more than worth it. It was a special moment I hadn't been expecting, but one that I knew would be held dear for years to come.

I think every one of my siblings has a special bond with both Mom and Dad, together and individually.We all know that we are equally loved, and yet because of the individual time our parents spent with us growing up - talking, counselling, congratulating, listening, guiding, commending, and teaching one on one - we also feel that we are especially and uniquely loved by them. "Sure Mom and Dad love all of my siblings, but they also really love ME." We all share common memories as a family that we hold dear, but we also each have personal, individual experiences with our parents that we hold alone. Moments that are testaments and reminders to us of how they have shaped and molded us specifically. Moments where we have felt our own personal, individual connection with them as father and son, mother and daughter, daddy's little girl, or mamma's little boy. Moments that taught us beyond a doubt how loved we are by them, how concerned they are for us, and how much they want us to be happy.

How grateful I am to have such wonderful parents to look to as examples of what it really means to be a mother and father. The idea of knowing how to raise children of my own someday is a little less daunting knowing that I can look to my own childhood for help. Their love and my relationship with them have helped me to better understand the love that my heavenly parents have for me. Because I could rely on them as my parents growing up, I know that I can trust and rely on my heavenly parents now. My life has been blessed beyond measure because of their love, their examples, and the one on one time they have spent with me. And what a blessing it is to be reminded of that because of a simple holiday like Father's Day.

Another Week in Primary

I decided today that I think Junior Primary is just always going to be crazy...haha. And I mean, we do have 10 Sunbeams...so ya, at least for the next year as those kids get older, it will probably just be crazy. They are sweet though, sitting still and being quiet is just rough! Plus we always have way too many chairs set up because of the previous ward's primary (our meeting times overlap, so we can't rearrange the room before church, because they're still in there). And there always seems to be someone needing something...it's just hectic. But we make it through. And then we get some respite with Senior Primary, haha.

Senior Primary today was especially sweet for me. Our teachers were attending Teacher's Council Meeting, so I sat with the kids during singing time and sharing time. We had two new/visiting kids that I sat right next to. Their mother was baptized a long time ago, and their whole family is now meeting with the missionaries. Today was their first Sunday attending our ward. During singing time, I grabbed the extra mini Children's Songbook we have from the closet, and opened it up to whatever song we were singing, and sang with the brother and sister to try and help them feel included in singing time. I was amazed at how earnestly they tried to read the words and sing along, despite their not knowing the songs. As I focused more intently on the words, and our new music leader bore testimony of the principles taught in them, I felt the spirit of peace confirming the truths taught, and confirming my testimony. The primary songs really are a wonderful tool.

Then getting to watch my counselors conduct and teach sharing time was great, too. I am so grateful for them! Watching them today, I felt like I had so much to learn from them. Marissa was conducting, and as she welcomed the kids to primary, she actually welcomed them. She asked them if they're excited for summer, what their plans are, and helped the kids who forget their assignments know that it was ok. Amanda taught sharing time and shared a wonderful object lesson that the kids really enjoyed. She talked about listening to the voice of the spirit, and as she read scriptures about the Holy Ghost, had extra volunteers come up each time to ring a bell or bang a pot or pan as she read. By the end, nobody could even sort of hear what she was reading. The kids obviously loved it, but they also readily understood the meaning behind it. The more noise and distraction we have in our lives, the less we are able to hear and understand the voice of the spirit.

I love that even as I serve in primary each week, and miss the opportunity to attend Sunday school and Relief Society, I am able to be taught and feel the Spirit, to be filled, as I attend my meetings.

1 Nephi 1:20

"...But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty..."

I have always loved this verse. But as I read it today I felt a great testimony of its truth.

In this first month and a half serving as the Primary president, I have been amazed to see the truth of the phrase "Whom the Lord calls, He qualifies." Not that I particularly felt inadequate or anything when I was called, but there have been a few Sundays that I had a long list of things that I needed to do at church, and as I prayed for help, somehow I was able to manage it all.

Hence why this verse hit me today. My first counselor was gone today, so I was conducting in her place, as well as checking on the classes and helping like I otherwise would have been. This was also the first Sunday we were having a member of the Bishopric come in during opening exercises to share a message. Then there were two kids who did NOT want to be at church today. And I had a page long list of people to talk to/things to do. Oh, and I have a nice outbreak from poison ivy right now. Basically, it was a little crazy, haha.

And yet, about half way through Primary, I checked over my list again and realized that I had checked all but one thing off my list. I had prayed this morning for the help to meet my responsibilities according to His will (and that my poison ivy wouldn't be a problem during church, haha). And I got it. I accomplished as much as I possibly could, an issue I had been concerned about resolved itself, and my poison ivy didn't itch once - even when the little girl I had on my lap kept brushing against it, haha.

Serving in this calling has just given me a new testimony that the Lord truly is there, extending His arm of mercy to fill in where we fall short. That when we are on His errand, He will increase our capacity to meet the needs of those we serve. Or He will simply resolve the situation through some other means to meet their needs. Because they are His children we're serving. And I am so grateful that's true, and that I don't have to do this on my own. Because He does a much better job than I would.

The First of Many

Today was my first full Sunday as the new Primary president, and it was...an experience. :) Last Sunday the new presidency was all sustained and then set apart right after Sacrament Meeting so that we could immediately start serving in our new callings that day. But with the different things of trying to get organized as a new president and presidency, I felt like I missed almost the whole thing.

So today began with my first counselor catching me just before Sacrament meeting started to let me know she just got a text from one of the Junior Primary teachers saying they wouldn't be there today. And since Junior Primary is my responsibility, that meant I got to find a sub. Thankfully one of the children's parents were willing to step in and substitute. We got into Primary, and man, did it feel chaotic, haha.

There are just over 20 kids in our Junior Primary (ages 3-7), and we had 3 visitors as well. I was conducting, and neither of our 2 kids with assignments for opening exercises were prepared, and neither of their parents were there to help. I don't even know more than like 3 kids, because we're so new to the ward, so I didn't even really know who was supposed to be up there doing what.

Mostly though, kids that age are just so wiggly. And having 20+ in the same room for an hour, trying to keep their attention, is just a big job! Especially when you don't feel completely confident in knowing what you need to be doing in the first place. :P So by the time they were dismissed and Senior Primary started to come in, I felt a bit frazzled.

But then Senior Primary felt so calm and mature after being with Junior Primary! Our Senior Primary is smaller, but also, they're not tiny little kids! I still didn't really feel like I knew what I was doing with Senior Primary, but I didn't feel so frazzled because it was so much more calm and quiet than it had been. But it was all a learning experience. I know I will feel more confident next week, and soon it will all be so familiar that it won't take any thought at all (I hope :P ). This is definitely an adventure for me, but it's one I am excited for.