Sometimes the best thing you can do is to take your own advice.

Yesterday at church a friend asked me what my favorite quote was. I was so tired that I couldn't remember what it said, but I knew it had something to do with light and shadows (very specific, I know). A few minutes ago I remembered that I had used the quote in one of my high school papers, so I decided to try and find it. I had included it in my paper about optimism, so I decided to reread what I had written. I'm sure glad I decided to try and find that quote, because I needed to remind myself of what I already knew. Anyway, here's the paper if you feel like reading it.

Focus On the Candy, Not the Rock

My cousin and I entered the classroom for our last hour of meetings and sat down. As the class quieted, Sister Chandler began the lesson. She first handed out a piece of caramel candy to everyone, and then proceeded to give out small rocks which we were all supposed to place inside our shoes. After each of us put our rock in our shoe and our candy in our mouth, we took a short walk down the hallway and back. Once everyone had returned to our seats, she asked what we had been thinking during the walk. As might be expected, everyone began to complain about the irksome little rocks that had continuously pushed and prodded against the soles of our feet. Not a single one of us had spared a thought to enjoy the savory caramel that had been in our mouths.

Happiness is a choice. As human beings, no one can make us feel something that we don’t want to feel. We have the power to decide our emotional responses to life, the power to be happy in times of misery, or to be miserable in times of happiness. It is true that there are times for grief and sorrow, but even in the sadness, we can find joy and peace. To find that joy and peace, we must choose to focus on our blessings and advantages, to keep what is good in life in the forefront of our sights, and let the pains and hardships sit on the sidelines. We must allow ourselves to focus on the candy, not the rock. As we learn to do this, we begin to realize that our burdens are more bearable, our difficulties are not quite so difficult, and our hard times are not as hard as what we previously thought. This very concept was worded so beautifully in a quote one of my friends gave me, “Turn your face toward the light and the shadows will fall behind.” If we can learn to pursue our gifts and revel in our moments of pleasure and bliss, our lives will take on a new form of contentment and happiness, and we will experience a greater sense of fulfillment than we had before.

Life is all about progression, about learning and growing. When we allow ourselves to linger in self-pity because of our adversity, we stop that progression, and we lose our happiness as well. As people, we must learn to take those trials and experiences and use them to our benefit by doing as the old saying says, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” We must take control of our life, instead of allowing it to control us, and make opportunities out of our misfortunes. The greatest achievers of our time and times past – Thomas Edison, Martin Luther King Jr., the Wright brothers, Abraham Lincoln – are the people who were able to recognize and learn this. They are the ones whose success was born from past failures, who lived with determination and resolve, who learned to turn their hurt and devastation into wit and intellect. They are the ones who allowed their harsh conditions to build them up instead of tear them down.

The next time you begin to complain about your circumstances, stop and think. Are your problems really such a big deal that they outweigh everything good in your life? Our freedoms and opportunities are so great and abundant in this country. Even in our hardest times, we are almost definitely better off than so many others in this world. Who knows, maybe your problems really are as bad as they seem to be, but if so, instead of grumbling and whining, think of what you can do to change it. And if you can’t change what’s happening, stop to consider if you really want to waste your time despairing about it instead of moving on with life. Think of the lessons you can learn from it and think of what strengths you might gain that will enhance your life to come. Let yourself experience the joy and happiness around you. Don’t become so stuck on your rocks that your candy is all gone before you recognize that it was even there. Life is good; why would you want to convince yourself otherwise?