My Quarter of a Century

Last month was my birthday - and it was such an awesome day! Actually, it lasted more than just one day!

The day of my birthday, I went and had a birthday lunch with my favorite birthday buddy, Cathleen Grimm. We did a bit of shopping, got lunch, and just visited. I always enjoy days with Cathleen. By the time I got home, I had messages and voice mails from family and friends wishing me a happy birthday.

I skipped out on mutual that evening, and instead Gabe and I went to a free concert in Forest Park. The St. Louis Symphony was performing on the hill in front of the art museum. I couldn't believe how lucky I was that they were holding their free concert ON my birthday. I'd wanted to attend a concert since moving up to St. Louis, but could never justify the cost. The concert was so much fun. We packed a picnic dinner and sat on a blanket on the ground. They played classical music from a variety of composers, and had some more recent ones thrown in as well. They ended the concert with some of John Phillips Sousa and then fireworks over the pond.

The entire day just felt absolutely perfect and I enjoyed every minute of it.

I Love to See the Temple - How Speaking in Sacrament Meeting Blessed Me Personally

It was Saturday night before giving my talk on temples. I had been thinking about it constantly, and writing down pertinent thoughts, scriptures, and quotes for the past week and a half, but I hadn't yet taken the time to organize any of those notes into a coherent talk. Since I'd had a busy week, my plan had been to begin writing it that day, but time had gotten away from me, and I decided that since church wasn't until 1:00 the next day and I already had the majority of the substance for my talk, I would just wait until morning.

As I was thinking about it and making the decision, I briefly had the thought that I should text Joseph and ask if he had anything to share about the influence of the temple in his life. Not only did he have some wonderful remarks that I was able to use in my talk the next day, but it provided the opportunity for us to catch up about our lives and connect spiritually as we shared our testimonies of the temple with one another. I was so grateful for that whispered prompting  to text him and that I had taken the time to follow it. What a wonderful conversation I would have missed out on if I had ignored it. I was so grateful for the opportunity that speaking in Sacrament Meeting had created for me to connect with my brother that I love so much. Because we are so close in age, we have always been good friends, but getting married and living so far apart has kept us from having those treasured conversations as often as we used to. I love the opportunities that living the Gospel and listening to the Spirit create in our lives!

After giving my talk, I was feeling very negative. I do not generally open up and share things about my personal life very well, and so I felt like I had "over-shared" about mine and Gabe's struggles having children. That silly feeling was overshadowing everything else for me. As people came up to me after Sacrament Meeting to say thank you for my talk, or good job, I accepted their remarks kindly, but inwardly felt they were not deserved or true. As I sat down for Sunday School, I knew I was being ridiculous and almost thought to pray that the Lord would let me know if He approved so that the negative feelings clouding my thoughts would dissipate. But I didn't, because I decided I should just get over it on my own. Despite my lack of faith and choosing not to take the time to pray about it, the Lord knew that prayer within me, and He answered it with love.

As Sunday School ended I pulled out my phone, and realized I had a new text message from a phone number I didn't recognize. It read:

I wanted to tell you that your talk on temples today was one of the best talks I have ever heard. Thank you for your spirit and your testimony. You have made me a better person. Thank you! I would love a copy of your talk, if you would not mind sharing. May the Lord bless you for your goodness. - Maren Bunderson

Immediately the peace and love of the Lord filled me again, and I knew that the Lord had answered that unspoken prayer. As I left the class (which Maren had actually been teaching) I made sure to stop and thank her for her kind words to me. She reiterated again what she had said in the text, that it was a wonderful talk and she would love to have a copy if it was convenient. She said she loved some of the quotes especially and felt like she was frantically writing them down so that she could reference them later. Her sincerity truly touched me, and allowed me to better accept the kind words of others as well. I am so grateful for the people that the Lord uses in our lives to act as His hands to bless and lift us.

I Love to See the Temple

Two weeks ago I got an email from my Bishop asking me if I would speak in Sacrament Meeting on July 10th about the importance/influence of temples in our lives. Of course I accepted, and while I don't particularly love speaking from the pulpit (I don't get nervous at all until the speaker just before me, and then my heart starts beating CRAZY fast and I get all jittery and anxious until I actually start speaking), I was very excited about the topic. Serving in the temple each week these past two years has increased my love for the temple beyond anything I could have previously imagined. I've always loved the temple, but now, well, "the temple has become a part of me." Anyway, for anyone who wants to read my talk, here it is.

-I'm excited to speak about temples – I love the temple

            - Joseph Smith and Elder Kent F. Richards in the most recent conference (The Power of Godliness, April 2016 conference) said, “We [each of us and our families] need the temple more than anything else.” (Joseph Smith quoted by Elder Richards)

            - President Nelson has said, “everything we do in the Church…is to prepare each of us to come to the temple and [receive blessings there]” (quoted by Elder Richards)

            - “More than anything else” and “everything we do is to prepare,” why would that be?

-Because of the blessings we receive in and from the temple. President Monson has said, “The blessings of the temple are priceless” (Blessings of the Temple, April 2015 conference). What are those blessings?

            1. Eternal families – The blessing I have related to temples most often throughout my life is that of eternal families, and what a great blessing that is! To be with those that we love forever. But as I have attended the temple more often as an adult and served there, I have found and recognized so many more blessings.

            2. We learn about the Savior and become more like Him – Everything in the temple points to Jesus Christ, if we have a desire to learn as we attend, we can always be taught something new. How can we not learn of Him when everything points to Him? We become more like Him as we receive our endowment and are sanctified, then as we return again and again, as youth and adults, we act as “saviors on Mount Zion” as we do for the dead what they cannot do for themselves. How can we not learn of Him and become like Him when we serve as He served us, doing for others what they cannot do, just as He did for us what we cannot do on our own?

            3. The veil is thin – Elder Richards, “Surely, the veil is thin for us and parts completely for them in the temple.” I can testify of the truthfulness of this. From my own experiences, and those of family members and others, I know that those spirits are there in the temple, and we can feel their presence and the presence of others as we serve in the temple.

            4. Our capacity increases – My grandmother was a temple worker for 25 years and recently shared with me a few quotes about the temple that she loves. One was from Elder David B. Haight (no other reference). “A temple is a place in which those whom He has chosen are endowed with power from on high. A power which enables us to use our gifts and capabilities with greater intelligence and increased effectiveness in order to bring to pass our Heavenly Father’s purposes in our own lives and the lives of those we love.” Serving in the temple fortifies and builds us, and increases our capacity, allowing us to better use the gifts He has already blessed us with. One way is in receiving answers to prayers.

            5. We receive answers to prayers – My younger brother Joseph and his wife make temple attendance a priority and I know he loves the temple, so I asked him his thoughts and feelings about the importance of the temple. He responded, “Funny you should ask that, I recently received a life changing answer to a question in the temple…but I know the only reason I received that direction is because I was focused on spiritual things and I was in a spiritual place. The temple is truly the Mountain of the Lord.” The temple is a spiritual place where we are drawn closer to the Lord, and so become better able to receive answers to prayers that He desires to give us.

            6. We feel peace – President Monson (Blessings of the Temple, April 2015 conference) said, “As we enter through the doors of the temple, we leave behind us the distractions and confusion of the world. Inside this sacred sanctuary, we find beauty and order. There is rest for our souls and a respite from the cares of our lives. As we attend the temple, there can come to us a dimension of spirituality and a feeling of peace which will transcend any other feeling which could come into the human heart. We will grasp the true meaning of the words of the Savior when He said, ‘Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you…Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.’ Such peace can permeate any heart—hearts that are troubled, hearts that are burdened down with grief, hearts that feel confusion, hearts that plead for help.” I love the phrase from this quote “a dimension of spirituality.” This past week I substituted a lot and so I had the opportunity to spend multiple days in the temple serving as an ordinance worker. Knowing that I would be speaking on temples, I had a prayer in my heart that as I was in the temple throughout the week I would be aware of things that would be good to share in my talk. I always feel peace when I am at the temple, but as I attended so often this week, I noticed that the love and peace, that unique spirit which fills the temple, inevitably begins to fill your heart and your life as you attend the temple more and more. That “dimension of spirituality” begins to enter your life. It is small and gradual, but unmistakable, receiving that spirit of the temple, that “dimension of spirituality” in your life. And of course there is a dimension of spirituality there, because it is the Lord’s house. D&C 97:15-16 reads, “And inasmuch as my people build a house unto me in the name of the Lord, and do not suffer any unclean thing to come into it, that it be not defiled, my glory shall rest upon it; Yea, and my presence shall be there, for I will come into it, and all the pure in heart that shall come into it shall see God.” Of course we receive that dimension of spirituality, because we’re entering into His glory and His presence as we enter the temple.

            7. We are cleansed and forgiven – Another quote I received from my grandmother was from President Eyring at the St. Louis Temple Dedication. He said, “I promise you that when you come to this house, if you will come with a meek and lowly heart and if you will come with faith in Jesus Christ, you will have both the witness that this is the Lord’s how and also that you are being cleansed and forgiven that you might have hope of someday being with Him again and with our Heavenly Father and with families sealed to be together forever in peace.” What a beautiful blessing. None of us are prefect, we all make mistakes. And each of us at different times feels those mistakes and failings and imperfections more than others. But as we attend the temple, we can be cleansed and forgiven, and receive a witness that the Lord approves of us and our lives, despite our failures.

            8. Reminded of our covenants – For both the endowed and the unendowed, participating in the ordinances of the temple reminded us of the covenants we have made and the blessings we have been promised because of them. As we participate in baptisms for the dead and the other ordinances of the temple, we hear again the words of those covenants that we have already made ourselves. President Monson (Blessings of the Temple, April 2015 conference) said, “My brothers and sisters, in our lives we will have temptations; we will have trials and challenges. As we go to the temple, as we remember the covenants we make there, we will be better able to overcome those temptations and to bear our trials. In the temple we can find peace.” I have a personal witness of this. My husband and I have been married for 3 ½ years now. Ever since getting married, it has been my greatest wish to have children. When we first got married, the longer we had to wait, the harder it became. But as we moved to St. Louis, and I have had the opportunity to serve in the temple, and be reminded on a weekly basis of the covenants I have made, and the blessings that the Lord has already promised me, it has become so much easier to bear with patience. Attending the temple and being reminded of our covenants there truly enables us to more easily bear our burdens and challenges of life. And I know that all others can receive that help in their lives as I have.

            - We will not necessarily have a miraculous or grand experience every time we attend the temple. We will not always have large scale spiritual experiences that we will remember throughout our lives, but each time we go slowly builds us, cleanses and strengthens us. My brother Joseph said, “Going frequently puts us on a higher plane, and the more often you go the more familiar the ceremony is and the more the Lord is able to teach you.” Going to the temple often blesses our lives.

-Knowing the blessings that we receive from the temple, it is easy to see why President Monson and other prophets and apostles have said, “make whatever sacrifices necessary to attend the temple” and “no sacrifice is too great” (The Holy Temple – a Beacon to the World, April 2011 conference).

            - There are stories of families living apart for years to earn money to attend the temple together one time, saints traveling for days in uncomfortable circumstances to reach the temple (both stories in The Holy Temple – a Beacon to the World) and many other great sacrifices.

            - But we don’t have to make great sacrifices like that. We are so blessed to live so near a temple. President Monson said (The Holy Temple – a Beacon to the World, April 2011 conference), “If you have been to the temple for yourselves and if you live within relatively close proximity to a temple, your sacrifice could be setting aside time in your busy lives to visit the temple regularly.”

            - That is such a simple thing. It isn’t hard to set aside a few hours out of our day to attend the temple when we are so close, and yet we often don’t do it. Sometimes it is those most basic and simple things which become the most difficult to do. As I read this I thought of Alma 37:46, where Alma is teaching his son about the easiness of following the gospel, and he says, “O my son, do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way.” Let us not be “slothful” in our temple attendance because of the easiness of our proximity.

            - That applies to all of us, regardless of our age. Elder John A. Widtsoe (quoted by Elder Richards in The Power of Godliness, April 2016 conference) said, “The young man needs his place in the temple even more than his father and grandfather, who are steadied by a life of experience; the young girl just entering life, needs the spirit, influence and direction that come from participation in the temple ordinances.” We ALL need the temple in our lives.

-As I’ve had the privilege to serve in the temple the past 2 years, I have gained a personal testimony and a witness of the principles taught in Ether 12:6 and John 7:17. Ether 12:6 says, “dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith,” and John 7:17, “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” It is in the doing, the act of serving in the temple on a regular basis, that my faith and testimony of the temple has grown and expanded. As other young ordinance workers have said, quoted by Elder Richards (The Power of Godliness, April 2016 conference), “The temple has changed my life forever,” and “the temple has become a part of me.” We must return to the temple often, even if we don’t yet have a knowledge for ourselves of the blessing it can be in our lives, because it is in the going, the “trial of our faith” that we will receive a witness and a testimony.

            - President Eyring continued in the St. Louis Temple Dedication, “I testify to you that this is the House of the Lord. I pray that today, as you come here, you can feel that this is the House of the Lord. I promise you that if you do this, you will want to come back again and again. Each time you come, if you come with faith in Jesus Christ and with meekness and a humble heart, you won’t come because you are sent and you won’t come because you are commanded. You will come because no one could keep you away.” That is what I have been blessed to begin to feel in my life and in my love for the temple as I have served there these 2 years. And I know that each of you can feel that for yourselves if you will attend the temple often.

-I would just like to close with one last quote from Elder Richards (The Power of Godliness, April 2016 conference), “Come to the temple. Come often. Come with and for your family. Come, and help others to come too.” This is my prayer, that we may all come to the temple often, and with our families, that it may bless our lives and strengthen us. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

5 Years of Updates

5 years...wow. So my blog has been a bit neglected...if you couldn't tell. ;) So in the past five years I moved home from BYU, worked at Helzberg Diamonds, lived in an apartment with Glenda, Jessica, and Jenessa, whined a lot about not being married yet, met Gabe, started liking Gabe, thought about going on a mission, started dating Gabe, forgot about a mission, fell in love with Gabe, quit my job, and married Gabe. Ok, that was year one, haha.
Since getting married I taught piano lessons, started online classes, had a meltdown that we had reached the "infertile" phase (one year of trying to conceive without success), went on a belated honeymoon to Hawaii, Gabe graduated college, and we moved to St. Louis so he could start his Doctorate of Chiropractic - that was another year and a half.
Since moving here to St. Louis, I loved our new ward, was called as the Laurel's advisor, spent my first day and night away from Gabe to welcome Joseph home from his mission, started serving in the temple as an ordinance worker once a week, had my first car accident and ruined our car, went home to welcome Jessica back from her mission, bought a trailer, began to love cooking, decided to see specialists about our "infertility" and then subsequently felt impressed not to, finished my online classes with an Associates of General Studies degree, survived Gabe's first year of Chiropractic school, went with my family out to Joseph's wedding, went on Trek as a leader, started babysitting weekly for a family in the ward, gave up on knowing when we would have kids and then eventually became truly satisfied with the Lord's timing, began working with Judith on an as needed basis as her personal assistant, had Marshall and Jenessa visit for spring break, was asked to serve in the temple as a trainer, Gabe started clinic, went to Girl's Camp as the Assistant Ward Director, and here we are!

We have no lived in St. Louis longer than anywhere else since getting married - a very strange thought. Gabe goes to school everyday as well as helps patients in clinic most days and regularly attends seminars on the weekend. I take care of the house and cook dinner everyday, usually help Judith once a week, go to mutual on Tuesday evenings, serve in the temple on Thursday mornings, babysit on Fridays, teach the Laurel's class once or twice a month, and enjoy as much time with my husband as I possibly can! We have just under one year left here in St. Louis, and then we will move back to Springfield next May where Gabe will intern with Bishop Sanders for the summer and then graduate as a DC and open up his own practice.

Last week Mom, Dad, Lilly, and Lydia stayed with us for two days on their way back from Pennsylvania. We went to the Muny together Friday night and watched The Music Man - so much fun! The actors all did a great job and I enjoyed listening to the music I know so well and watching all of the choreography (man do I miss dancing). Other than that we just had a wonderful time visiting with each other. It was so fun to have my parents come visit us in our home for a change instead of us visiting them. So that's pretty much our life in a nutshell right now! As with everyone there are ups and downs, but for the most part things are really wonderful. We are incredibly blessed in so many ways, and besides, what would life be without its adventures? :)

Too good not to share...

So we had a role play in my Intro to Family Processes class today with a husband, wife, and two kids. They were just volunteers given random scenarios, they didn't even know each other's names, but it actually ended up being rather funny. I just got an email, one of the mass ones sent out from blackboard that goes to the whole class. Best. Email. EVER! I thought it was too good not to share. ENJOY! haha

ATTN: Class!

Howdy! This is Cade. I was the father/husband guy in the role play in class today (Feb 16). I am writing because I want to ask my wife lady on a date, but I don't know her name.

So honey, if you're out there somewhere on the other side of this cyber space, and you're not already creeped out that I'm emailing the whole class to find you, then can I take you out later this week?

If you would like to, email me your phone number I'll ask you out like a normal person. If not then I'll look forward to the extremely awkward meeting we will have in class next time : )

Yours truly,

Cade

Hahaha, only at BYU. :)

Sometimes the best thing you can do is to take your own advice.

Yesterday at church a friend asked me what my favorite quote was. I was so tired that I couldn't remember what it said, but I knew it had something to do with light and shadows (very specific, I know). A few minutes ago I remembered that I had used the quote in one of my high school papers, so I decided to try and find it. I had included it in my paper about optimism, so I decided to reread what I had written. I'm sure glad I decided to try and find that quote, because I needed to remind myself of what I already knew. Anyway, here's the paper if you feel like reading it.

Focus On the Candy, Not the Rock

My cousin and I entered the classroom for our last hour of meetings and sat down. As the class quieted, Sister Chandler began the lesson. She first handed out a piece of caramel candy to everyone, and then proceeded to give out small rocks which we were all supposed to place inside our shoes. After each of us put our rock in our shoe and our candy in our mouth, we took a short walk down the hallway and back. Once everyone had returned to our seats, she asked what we had been thinking during the walk. As might be expected, everyone began to complain about the irksome little rocks that had continuously pushed and prodded against the soles of our feet. Not a single one of us had spared a thought to enjoy the savory caramel that had been in our mouths.

Happiness is a choice. As human beings, no one can make us feel something that we don’t want to feel. We have the power to decide our emotional responses to life, the power to be happy in times of misery, or to be miserable in times of happiness. It is true that there are times for grief and sorrow, but even in the sadness, we can find joy and peace. To find that joy and peace, we must choose to focus on our blessings and advantages, to keep what is good in life in the forefront of our sights, and let the pains and hardships sit on the sidelines. We must allow ourselves to focus on the candy, not the rock. As we learn to do this, we begin to realize that our burdens are more bearable, our difficulties are not quite so difficult, and our hard times are not as hard as what we previously thought. This very concept was worded so beautifully in a quote one of my friends gave me, “Turn your face toward the light and the shadows will fall behind.” If we can learn to pursue our gifts and revel in our moments of pleasure and bliss, our lives will take on a new form of contentment and happiness, and we will experience a greater sense of fulfillment than we had before.

Life is all about progression, about learning and growing. When we allow ourselves to linger in self-pity because of our adversity, we stop that progression, and we lose our happiness as well. As people, we must learn to take those trials and experiences and use them to our benefit by doing as the old saying says, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” We must take control of our life, instead of allowing it to control us, and make opportunities out of our misfortunes. The greatest achievers of our time and times past – Thomas Edison, Martin Luther King Jr., the Wright brothers, Abraham Lincoln – are the people who were able to recognize and learn this. They are the ones whose success was born from past failures, who lived with determination and resolve, who learned to turn their hurt and devastation into wit and intellect. They are the ones who allowed their harsh conditions to build them up instead of tear them down.

The next time you begin to complain about your circumstances, stop and think. Are your problems really such a big deal that they outweigh everything good in your life? Our freedoms and opportunities are so great and abundant in this country. Even in our hardest times, we are almost definitely better off than so many others in this world. Who knows, maybe your problems really are as bad as they seem to be, but if so, instead of grumbling and whining, think of what you can do to change it. And if you can’t change what’s happening, stop to consider if you really want to waste your time despairing about it instead of moving on with life. Think of the lessons you can learn from it and think of what strengths you might gain that will enhance your life to come. Let yourself experience the joy and happiness around you. Don’t become so stuck on your rocks that your candy is all gone before you recognize that it was even there. Life is good; why would you want to convince yourself otherwise?

"IT'S OVER!!!"

(end of Strongbad voice...unless you WANT to imagine it for the rest of the post...that could be humerus) :P

So anyway, yes, Summer Term is OVER! :D I spent all day yesterday studying for my Marriage and Family final and then took it that evening, and then I spent all day today studying for Statistics and went and took it tonight. I'm definitely one of those last-minute people...but it worked out for me, because I only missed 1 question on each of them and got 99% on both! :D Which puts me at an A- for Marriage and Family and an A for Statistics. Kinda backward from what you'd expect, huh? Oh well, at least they're both A's! That will do my GPA good. :) So now I have 2 weeks of freedom before Fall Semester starts! Hooray! So basically that's all, I just wanted to brag a little bit. :)

P.S. Like how I used to post once every six months, and now I'm becoming a blogger addict? ha